Frustration is a natural part of sports. But is it helping you…or hurting you?
Some athletes are able to channel their frustration into something positive—into controlled aggression that leads to better performance.
Others, however, get caught up in the emotion, and it becomes a distraction.
So how do you know which one you are?
How Frustration Can Help You Play Better
When frustration turns into positive aggression, it means you’re using that energy to try harder, focus more, and increase your effort.
A great example of this is a basketball player who gets frustrated—either at themselves or at the other team—and responds by locking in on defense, driving hard to the basket, and really turning it on.
But here’s the key: you must stay under control.
Whether you’re a basketball player, football player, tennis player, swimmer, or compete in any sport—if you’re using frustration to help you, it has to lead to more effort and intensity, not chaos.
If that frustration pushes you to play more aggressively in a focused, composed way, then it can absolutely help.
When Frustration Becomes a Distraction
For many athletes, frustration doesn’t help—it hurts.
This happens when the emotion becomes a distraction. You get caught up in what just happened. Maybe it was a bad call. Maybe you made a mistake. And now you’re stuck on that one moment.
You start beating yourself up. The frustration festers and pulls your attention away from what matters most: the next play.
Here’s the hard truth: during a game, the only thing you need to focus on is playing well moving forward.
I know that sounds obvious, but it’s incredibly difficult when you’re emotional. You’re thinking, I can’t believe I made that mistake, or That call was awful, and now you’re still carrying it with you into the next moment.
A Personal Example: I Couldn’t Use Frustration
When I played baseball, frustration never helped me. It distracted me. If I got mad at the plate, I tried too hard. If I was angry in the field, I lost focus.
I wasn’t the kind of guy who played well when I was angry. I thrived when I was relaxed, when I was having fun.
But that’s just me.
I’ve worked with a lot of athletes who are the opposite. When they get mad, they dial in. They go harder. They play better. And that’s why it’s so important to understand your personality and how you respond to frustration.
No one can tell you exactly how you should feel when you play. You need to figure that out for yourself.
Learning to Handle Frustration Better During Games
If you want to either use frustration to your advantage or move on from it quicker, there are two steps you can take.
Step One: Be Honest With Yourself
Ask yourself: Am I able to control the frustration I feel and use it in a positive way?
If yes, great. Keep using that energy to help you. Just make sure you’re staying in control. Play aggressively, but with focus.
If the answer is no—if frustration leads to mistakes, emotional outbursts, or beating yourself up—then you need a different approach.
Step Two: Change Your Reaction to Frustration
You will always feel frustration. That’s part of being competitive. But what’s not okay is letting that frustration stay and control your next play.
You’ve got to do something about it.
The key is shifting your thinking.
Get your mind off whatever made you angry and back onto what matters now. Because when you keep thinking about what frustrated you, the emotion only grows.
A Real Example: Letting Go of a Bad Call
I’m working with an athlete right now who really struggles with bad calls. He can’t let them go. It ruins his focus for the rest of the game.
What we’ve worked on is redirecting his thinking. Get him to stop obsessing over the official’s call and start focusing on the next play.
That’s what you need to do, too.
You need to accept what happened—even if it’s hard. Remind yourself: It’s in the past. I can’t control it anymore. Then, shift your focus onto what will help you play well in this moment.
Ask Yourself This One Question
When you’re feeling frustrated during a game, pause and ask yourself: “Is this helping me play well?”
If the answer is no, then it’s time to let it go and refocus. That question won’t make the frustration magically disappear, but it will help you start shifting back into the mindset you need to perform.
Final Thoughts
If you want to manage frustration during games, start with this process:
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Be honest about whether frustration helps or hurts your performance.
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If it helps, use it—but stay under control.
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If it hurts, change your thinking. Accept what happened and shift your focus forward.
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Always ask: Is this helping me play well?
Because no matter how mad you are—at a mistake, a call, or the opponent—the only thing that matters is how you play in the next moment.
If frustration is something you struggle with and want a personalized approach to handle it better, I offer a 12-week one-on-one mental coaching program.
I’ve also created two online courses:
And if you’re more of a reader, check out my books:
Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
