Exercise to Stop Playing Scared

If you play with the fear of failure as an athlete, you’re going to hold yourself back.

In this post, I want to share an exercise that will help you stop playing scared of making mistakes—a fear that’s far more common than most athletes realize.

Whether you’re stepping into a big game, a tryout, or even just practice, fear has a way of creeping in and keeping you from playing freely. But here’s the thing: it’s not usually the mistake itself you’re afraid of… it’s the consequence.

Let me explain.

Fear Isn’t About the Mistake—It’s About the Consequence

I’m working with a hockey player right now who has a deep fear of underperforming.

But the real fear?

It’s not playing poorly. It’s his parents potentially being mad or disappointed in him.

Now, his parents actually care more about effort than the stat sheet—but that doesn’t matter. In his mind, the fear of their disappointment is enough to cause overthinking and hesitation during games.

Another athlete I’m working with—a catcher—has been afraid of making a bad throw back to the pitcher. That fear has actually resulted in him doing just that: making poor throws.

Why?

Because fear creates anxiety. Anxiety leads to tension. Tension messes with your mechanics. That’s how fear shows up in your performance.

So here’s the truth: fear of failure is almost never about the action itself. It’s about what you believe will happen if you fail.

The Negative Impact of Playing Scared

Fear causes you to hold back. To play timid. To play scared.

It can make you hesitate to get involved in the game or call for the ball.

In other cases, fear shows up as overly cautious, tense mechanics—like softly tossing the ball back to the pitcher instead of throwing confidently. It robs you of your ability to play freely and naturally.

And it all stems from one place: fear of the consequence.

So how do you overcome that?

Let me walk you through the exercise I use with the athletes I coach.

The Exercise: Handle the Consequence

This is a mental exercise. One that focuses on helping you accept the consequence—not avoid it.

Because once you’re okay with handling the worst-case scenario, the fear starts to lose its power over you.

Step 1: Identify What You’re Afraid Of

Start by listing out the situations where you’re afraid to fail. For example:

• “I’m afraid of making a bad throw back to the pitcher.”

• “I’m afraid of missing the game-winning shot.”

• “I’m afraid of striking out with runners in scoring position.”

Step 2: Identify the Consequence

Ask yourself, “What’s the consequence I’m really afraid of?”

• “I’m afraid of getting benched.”

• “I’m afraid of losing my starting spot.”

• “I’m afraid my coach will yell at me.”

• “I’m afraid of letting my teammates down.”

Step 3: Ask the Most Important Question

Now comes the key question: How will I handle it?

Not “How can I avoid it?”

Not “What can I do to make sure it never happens?”

But—“If that consequence happens… how will I handle it?”

Here’s what that might sound like:

“If I get benched, I’ll work hard in practice. I’ll stay focused and relaxed when I get my next opportunity. I’ll earn back my spot by giving full effort without putting pressure on myself.”

Why This Exercise Works

The most important part of this exercise is feeling okay with how you’ll handle the consequence—not happy about it, not complacent with it—but okay with it.

Because if you can handle the consequence…and the consequence is what you’re really afraid of…then the fear doesn’t have to be so strong.

Letting go of fear doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you start trusting. Trusting that no matter what happens, you’ll bounce back.

Most of the time, the consequences we imagine are way worse in our heads than they are in real life. Yes, getting benched sucks. But you’ve been benched before. Most athletes have. And what happened? You worked harder. You showed your coach what you could do. You got back on the field.

That’s resilience. That’s mental strength.

Bonus Exercise: Negative Visualization

Here’s a bonus technique I often teach as well: negative visualization.

It might sound counterintuitive, because most visualization involves imagining yourself performing well. And that’s important, too. But negative visualization means mentally rehearsing the worst-case scenario—and then visualizing yourself bouncing back from it.

You’re not just imagining failure for the sake of it. You’re imagining yourself handling it with composure and strength. That builds confidence in your ability to manage adversity.

Final Thoughts

So I encourage you—go through this exercise:

1. Identify where fear shows up in your game.

2. Define the consequence you’re afraid of.

3. Answer the question: How will I handle it?

And maybe even take it one step further with negative visualization.

Because when you develop confidence not just in your skills, but in your ability to manage your emotions and bounce back from setbacks, you stop playing scared. You start playing free.

If you’d like more in-depth help to stop playing scared during games, click here to learn more about my 1-1 mental coaching program.

I’ve also created two online courses:

• The Confident Competitor Academy
• The Mentally Tough Kid

And if you’re more of a reader, check out my books:

• Mind Games
• Athlete Mental Training

Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.