Toxic teammates take many forms, but one thing is for certain: having to deal with these types of teammates is frustrating and will negatively affect your mental game if you let it.
In this article, we’re going to explore what makes certain teammates so toxic, then go over three tips you can use to manage toxic teammates as an athlete.
Toxic Teammates Explained
There are many forms toxic teammates can take. But the core principle will always be that toxic teammates impact you in a negative way.
They are emotionally exhausting, create negative environments, and lead to you thinking poorly about yourself and even playing with fear and anxiety.
I want to share two stories from athletes I’ve worked with that help illustrate toxic teammates in action.
One of the athletes dealt with a lot of negativity and criticism when it came to the way she trained. She had studied under a coach from another country and learned a style of training she really liked.
It proved effective in helping her improve her performance.
However, the facility where she regularly trained had a different style of training and her teammates never let her forget it.
When she trained there, they would make comments to her and criticize what she was doing. Worst of all, if she didn’t perform perfectly during competition, they would criticize her and her training style even more.
The environment was very toxic and her teammates were eating away at her confidence and leading to a lot of fear and anxiety when she competed.
Another athlete dealt with negativity in a different way. His teammates did not criticize the way he trained or even criticize him at all. Instead, they were extremely negative toward themselves, the team in general, and the sport.
They constantly complained about having to practice, downplayed how good the team was, and made comments about how the level wasn’t very good.
They were negative people and this negativity created a toxic environment where it was difficult to have confidence and difficult to feel good about and enjoy the game.
How Toxic Teammates Hurt You
Both of the examples above illustrate how toxic teammates affect you as an athlete. They create environments where confidence is difficult to come by and enjoyment starts to go away. Specifically, toxic teammates can lead to a few key mental game challenges, including…
- Sports performance anxiety
- Fear of failure
- Perfectionism
- Self-doubt
Playing with these mental game challenges results in underperforming. This only worsens the challenges you’re facing and can make the toxic teammates even worse. Such as in the example I gave about the female athlete whose teammates criticized her training style.
Now, I know I’ve said that toxic teammates cause you to experience these mental game challenges, and that’s true to an extent. But we need to be careful not to blame them or say there is nothing we can do about it.
Yes, dealing with toxic teammates often result in these mental game challenges, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Especially if you work on managing the challenges and learn how to manage the toxic teammates.
Should You Change Teams?
The first question you need to ask is should I change teams?
This can and often is the quickest and easiest way to handle toxic teammates. If you change teams, you will be in a different environment and won’t have to deal with toxic teammates any longer.
Changing teams isn’t always an option for you. Which is why the tips I have outlined below focus on how you can manage toxic teammates if you remain on your team.
If you do decide to change teams, you still want to be sure you work on your mental skills. I’ve seen many players change teams but still struggle with some of the same mental blocks they experienced when playing with toxic teammates.
This occurs due to the impact the teammates had on your mind. If you are playing with fear, for example, you will likely still feel fear about making the same kinds of mistakes in the future that your toxic teammates used to criticize.
The reason I wanted to include this section is because I want you to know changing teams is a viable option. It does not mean you are quitting or are too weak to handle toxic teammates.
Sometimes separating ourselves from a negative and toxic environment is the best thing we can do.
But, as I said, it’s not always an option. Which is why we need strategies in place to manage toxic teammates if we are to remain on our current team.
Three Tips to Manage Toxic Teammates
These tips involve how you can respond to and handle toxic teammates. We cannot change the way they are nor do we want to waste time wishing they weren’t the way they are.
We must focus on how we can think and respond to them in order to protect ourselves and respond in a good way.
Tip #1: Pay Attention to How You Talk to Yourself
Toxic teammates are toxic because of the way they criticize you and because of how negative they are about the team or sport in general.
Whether they are criticizing you or just being negative toward themselves or the team, this can have a negative impact on your thinking.
It’s natural to think in a similar way to those around you. To have their ways of thinking and talking begin to trickle into your natural thought patterns. This is very dangerous if you’re getting criticized a lot because you will begin to criticize yourself.
It’s also dangerous if you’re hearing your teammates speak negatively toward themselves or about the team or sport. You may find yourself also thinking negatively which will hurt your confidence, joy, and motivation.
To protect yourself, you must pay attention to your own thoughts. You need to practice positive self-talk.
Our thinking is the foundation of our mental game. If our thoughts become negative, our mental game weakens. When thoughts are positive and productive our mental game is stronger.
For yourself, begin practicing a tool known as reframing.
Any time you notice yourself thinking negatively or you get criticized by a teammate or hear a teammate speaking negatively, reframe your own thinking into more positive and optimistic thoughts.
This will work against the harmful effects of their negative talk and keep your thoughts positive. That way, your thinking is helping you play better instead of holding you back.
Tip #2: Evaluate Your Game Carefully
If toxic teammates criticize you after you play, or if they criticize themselves, it’s equally important for you to pay attention to how you evaluate your game.
How we evaluate our performances plays a large role in how our confidence grows moving forward and how we improve moving forward.
Toxic teammates who criticize you instill a sense of judgment after games. Judgement that will lead to you doubting yourself and feeling negative about your play.
You must work against such negativity. The way you can do so is by going through a solid post-game evaluation.
Start by first thinking about what you did well. This will be tough if you currently criticize yourself or your teammates criticize you. If that’s the case, however, this part is crucial!
Once you’ve thought about what you did well, you want to think about what you can learn. This is where you can examine your mistakes.
But we are taking a learning approach. Your goal is to learn, not beat yourself up.
Going through a post-game evaluation such as this is a great way to keep the toxicity from your teammates from creeping into the way you think about yourself and your game.
Tip #3: Focus on What You Enjoy
This final tip helps a lot if you’re dealing with toxic teammates who are toxic because they are so negative toward themselves, the team, and the game in general. But it also helps when toxic teammates criticize you.
How much joy you play with largely depends on how much joy you bring to the game. Meaning, you must bring your own happiness to the field or court instead of looking for it in other people or even in winning or playing well.,
One way you can do so is to remember what you enjoy about the game itself. What is the real reason you play?
- Do you love being outside?
- Do you love pushing yourself?
- Do you love the grind of competition?
- Do you love getting to show off your hard work?
Think about what it is you truly enjoy about your sport. Then focus on that during practices and games.
By focusing on what you enjoy instead of the negativity coming from your teammates, you will help keep toxic teammates from negatively impacting your mindset and performance.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with toxic teammates is difficult. It leaves you with the choice of moving teammates to get away from them, or learning how to manage such teammates.
If you choose to stay, there are three tips you can use to manage toxic teammates:
If you would like a more in-depth and personalized approach to managing toxic teammates, click here to schedule a free introductory call to learn more about how 1-1 mental coaching can help.
Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
