Does anger hurt you or help you during games?
If the other team trash talks you, do you get angry and play better? Or do you get distracted by your own anger?
If you make a mistake, do you get angry with yourself and use that as motivation to play harder? Or do you get so angry with yourself that this turns into self-pity and you play worse?
Understanding how anger helps or hurts you is critical to improving your performance.
In this article, we’re going to explore how anger helps you, how it can hurt you, and how you can figure out the best way to manage anger for yourself as an athlete.
How Anger Can Help You
When examining how anger impacts athletic performance, it’s important for us to first think about how anger can help you. Many athletes I’ve worked with have seen their performance improve once they get angry.
This typically occurs due to increased effort and intensity.
For example, there was a basketball player I worked with who would get more aggressive after he got angry. He would drive to the basket more and play harder defense. Overall, he would play with more intensity.
This increased intensity was a direct result of the anger he was experiencing.
This example reveals anger being used as a positive form of energy. Positive in the sense that it helps you play better.
When anger is used in a good way, it fuels motivation, makes you play harder, run faster, give more effort…you use the anger as fuel to give it your all. That is when anger helps you.
How Anger Hurts You
While anger positively impacts some athletes’ performance, it can be a huge hindrance for others.
This occurs when anger gets the best of you (you become uncontrollably angry), as well as when anger serves as a distraction.
An example of the first comes from a lacrosse player I worked with. When he and I first began working together, he struggled with having his emotions get the best of him. Specifically, having anger take over during games.
For him, the anger did increase his intensity and lead to more effort, but it wasn’t in a good way. He focused this increased intensity on the person or people on the other team who made him angry.
He would play too aggressively, getting penalties called on him and ultimately hurting himself and his team due to the anger that got the best of him.
He was not in control of his anger. His anger controlled him.
An example of anger being a distraction comes from a baseball player I worked with. When he got angry over a strike out, an error in the field, something the other team did, or anything else, his anger distracted him.
One way it distracted him was when he hit. At the plate, instead of focusing on what he needed to focus on to hit well, he thought about how he wanted to crush the ball because he was angry. This caused him to overswing and have poor at bats.
In the field, especially if he was mad over an error he made, he kept thinking about the error over and over again. This kept him from refocusing and increased the chances of him making another mistake.
The anger distracted him from playing his best.
Which Category Do You Fall Into?
Does anger help you play better or does it hold you back?
This is an important question to ask yourself, and one you must be honest when answering.
If you feel like anger helps you, how can you control it even more? How can you leverage the increased intensity you feel and effort you give once you feel angry?
One way you can do so is by seeing anger for what it is: energy.
When anger sets in, don’t allow it to run wild. Channel it the best you can into more effort and motivation to play hard.
If anger holds you back, we need to get to work on helping you manage your anger in a more effective way.
Strategy to Manage Anger in Sports
“Get mad.”
That’s what my mom used to yell at me after I made an error in the field or had a bad at bat. She was trying to get me to dig deep and push myself to move on from the mistake and play hard.
The only problem was…I fell into the category of players who get distracted by anger.
Anger never led to me playing out of control, but it did lead to me being distracted, trying too hard, and getting down on myself. Angry play was not my friend. It was a major reason for underperforming.
Instead of getting mad, I had to learn how to let go and move on. Something that is not at all easy to do, but vital to success.
I don’t play baseball anymore. Instead, I work one-on-one with athletes on their mental game. And moving on from mistakes is a major skill we focus on developing.
A skill that begins with you first understanding the real cause of your frustration.
Understanding What Drives Anger
Why is it that some athletes use anger to help them, others get distracted by it, and others are able to move on and not get angry (or stay angry) at all?
It all has to do with our mental reactions.
Our mental reactions refer to the beliefs we have about situations and specifically the thoughts we have after the situation.
The way you think following a frustrating situation will result in a sustained feeling of anger or you moving on.
The reason I say a sustained feeling of anger is because it’s difficult, if not impossible, for us to eradicate all feelings of frustration. The initial anger, disappointment, and frustration you feel is natural.
How long it sticks around is based on your mental reaction.
Let’s say there’s a bad call. You immediately feel frustrated.
Most athletes will feel anger after a bad call. But not all athletes have the anger stick around.
If you think, “That was so unfair, now we’re going to lose,” or something along those lines, and you keep thinking that way, the anger will grow worse.
If, however, you respond differently and think, “It’s just one bad call, forget it and move on,” it’s more likely you’ll be able to do just that, move on.
Understanding it is your mental reaction to the situation that is causing you to be angry, not the situation itself, gives you the power to change how you respond.
Change Your Thoughts to Manage Anger
While it’s by no means easy to do, changing your thinking following frustrating situations is the best way to gain control over your anger.
There’s a simple tip I like to use that helps with this process, and that’s to talk to yourself as though you were talking to a teammate to try and calm them down.
We know you will experience initial feelings of anger. That’s okay. As long as you work to calm yourself down by changing your thinking.
The way you change your thinking is actively talking to yourself in a different way. This is where self-talk comes into play.
Imagine your teammate struck out or turned the ball over. They are getting visibly upset with themselves. What would you say to them?
That’s the way you need to talk to yourself.
See yourself as your own coach in such moments. Coach yourself through the situation. By doing so, you will be actively changing your thoughts, and as a result, changing your reaction to the frustrating situation.
Don’t Forget to Breathe
As you’re working to change your thinking, be sure you also breathe.
As simple as it is, taking deep breaths is a powerful way to manage anger. Especially during games.
I recommend using count breathing, where you count as your inhale and count as you exhale. This centers your attention on your breathing, taking it off the frustration.
If you’re able to take some deep breaths along with changing your thinking as I just mentioned, you will be well on your way to managing anger during games.
Mental Coaching to Manage Anger in Sports
Having anger get the best of you will continually cause you to underperform.
It’s critical that as an athlete you learn how to manage anger and use it to positively impact your performance.
The strategy I outlined above is a simple way you can begin gaining control over your anger. But if you would like a more in-depth and personalized approach, I offer one-on-one mental performance coaching.
I will work directly with you to help you understand what’s causing your anger and put actionable strategies in place to help you play with a calmer and more confident mindset.
To learn more about one-on-one mental coaching, click here to schedule a free introductory coaching call.
Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
