The way you handle criticism as an athlete has a direct impact on your confidence, your ability to learn from mistakes, and the fear with which you play.
Let’s break this down.
Why Criticism Hurts Confidence
Criticism often stings because we take it personally. Let’s say your coach criticizes you after a game. They say you didn’t play the way they know you can. If you internalize that, your self-talk might shift to:
- “Coach doesn’t think I’m good enough.”
- “I failed.”
- “I let everyone down.”
This negative self-talk quickly chips away at your confidence. The more critical your internal dialogue becomes, the lower your belief in yourself drops. And this is true whether the criticism comes from a coach, parent, teammate, or anyone else.
When you feel like criticism equals “I’m not good enough,” your confidence suffers.
Why It Hurts Your Ability to Learn from Mistakes
Criticism is usually feedback—pointing to areas that need improvement. Of course, sometimes it’s unnecessary. You may have had a decent game, but an overly critical coach or parent chooses to nitpick.
But at times, the criticism is valid. Maybe you did make mistakes. Maybe you didn’t perform up to your potential. Ideally, feedback would be delivered constructively. But that’s not always how it works.
And if you internalize that criticism and think, “I suck. I’m terrible,” you’re not going to view those areas of improvement objectively. You won’t see the opportunity for growth—you’ll only see judgment.
Even if you try to improve, you’ll likely do so from a place of low confidence and self-doubt, which only leads to more frustration and negative self-talk.
Why It Increases Fear During Games
Let’s say you play for a coach who criticizes you after every mistake. Even if you logically know they want to help, it’s still hard to deal with. What happens over time?
You begin to associate mistakes with personal failure. Instead of seeing them as chances to grow, you start seeing them as proof that you’re not good enough.
So what do you do?
You start playing to avoid mistakes.
- You overthink.
- You play tight.
- You focus more on what not to do than on what you should do.
Playing with fear of criticism leads to more mistakes. And the cycle continues.
How to Handle Criticism in Sports
Step One: Make a Mindset Shift
To handle criticism better, we must shift the way we receive it. We can’t always control how it’s given—whether it’s shouted, passive-aggressive, or just poorly timed. But we can control how we respond.
Here’s the shift:
See criticism as information—not judgment.
Think of it as:
- “This is something I can improve.”
- “This is an opportunity to grow.”
I know it sounds simple or maybe even cheesy, but it works.
When you view criticism as a learning tool instead of a personal attack, you take back your power. You stop reacting emotionally and start responding strategically.
Even if someone says it poorly, you can still ask: What’s the actual feedback here?
Step Two: What to Do With the Feedback
Once you’ve received criticism, the next step is processing it.
Here’s what I recommend:
1. Write It Down
Take the feedback and write it down. This helps get it out of your head and into a place where you can view it objectively.
Examples:
- “Coach says I need to give more effort.”
- “My parents think I’m being lazy on defense.”
- “Teammates say I’m holding onto the ball too long.”
Now you’ve got the data.
2. Ask Yourself: How Can I Improve This?
Turn criticism into action. If someone says you’re not giving enough effort, ask:
- “What would full effort look like in my next game?”
- “How can I measure that?”
Set a personal goal. For effort, it might be: “I’m going to drain my energy bar completely this game—leave it all out there.”
If a coach says your backhand in tennis needs work, then set a practice plan focused specifically on backhands.
Whatever the criticism, create a small action plan:
- What will I focus on in practice?
- What adjustments will I make in my next game?
When you take ownership of feedback, it builds confidence—because you’re no longer avoiding mistakes, you’re attacking them.
Final Thoughts
Handling criticism as an athlete is tough. I struggled with it throughout my playing career and still do today. It’s human to feel hurt when someone points out your flaws—especially when you know they’re right.
But criticism doesn’t have to crush your confidence.
Instead:
- Shift your mindset.
- See it as feedback, not judgment.
- Use it as fuel to improve.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be committed to getting better.
And if you’d like more help developing this kind of mindset, I offer a 12-week 1-on-1 coaching program designed to strengthen your mental game.
I’ve also created two online courses:
And if you’re more of a reader, check out my books:
Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
