Whether you should be relaxed or not is a really interesting and important question for you to consider as an athlete. Because if you try to get yourself relaxed, but you get too relaxed, we can see you perform slowly and not give as much effort as you need to.
But if you’re more anxious, tense, and stressed, that will equally cause you to underperform.
So, what we’re going to explore in today’s article is what the idea of being relaxed really means for you as an athlete—and how you can use this idea and pair it with trying to be more motivated and giving more effort to help you reach your full potential.
What Does It Mean to Be Relaxed?
I can remember back when I was in college—I got really anxious. I remember going into a game trying to be completely relaxed, nonchalant, and I went a little bit too far to the extreme. I was slow. I wasn’t reacting as quickly as I needed to be. And so it actually hurt me to try to be so relaxed.
But likewise, when I got so anxious and worked up and tried to get myself really excited and amped up to play, that caused me to be too tense—and it equally caused me to underperform.
I see this same pattern happen with a lot of the athletes I work with. We have to figure out how to balance the two.
And I think the way we do that is by getting clear on what we actually mean by being relaxed.
Being Relaxed Physically
Whenever you go and compete, across all sports, you’re going to be quicker and more powerful if your muscles are loose than if you’re tense and tight.
As a baseball player, I focused on being relaxed at the plate—not in the sense of being slow, but in the sense that I needed my muscles to be relaxed and loose so I could be quick.
The same thing is true with a golf swing—you don’t want to be tense standing over the ball. You want to be nice and relaxed and loose.
In basketball, you don’t want to take a shot all tensed up. You want to be smooth and fluid.
So, when we’re discussing being relaxed physically, the better term is smooth.
When we are smooth, we are quick and powerful. We don’t want to be slow—that’s not what being relaxed means. We want to be smooth, because when we are smooth, we perform fluidly and athletically.
Think about a sprinter—you don’t want all your muscles tensed while you’re running. You want to relax your muscles so you can be faster.
It’s easier to understand optimal relaxation physically because we can see the difference between a tense muscle and a loose one. A loose, relaxed muscle is more fluid, quicker, and more athletic.
Being Relaxed Mentally
When we transfer this idea to what it means to be relaxed mentally, that’s where we can start to get too far into the realm of being slow—not being focused—because we aren’t really looking at what it truly means to be relaxed mentally.
What I’m referring to when I say we want to be relaxed mentally when we play is having a calmer mind.
When we’re not relaxed mentally, our mind is racing. We’re thinking about everything that could happen, past mistakes, and overanalyzing mechanics. That’s not a calm mind.
A calm, relaxed mind is focused on what’s happening right now. It’s having a relaxed focus instead of a tense focus.
When you have a tense focus, you’re straining too hard—trying too much to do something right. You might be focused in the moment, but not in a calm way. That mental tension will then create physical tension.
But if your mind is calmer, your focus is more relaxed, and your body becomes more athletic and responsive.
How to Create a Calm, Relaxed Mind
To create this calmer, more relaxed mind, think of your mind as calm when it’s focused on one thing—as opposed to thinking about many.
A tense mind is overthinking. A calm mind is focused.
So, when you’re going into a game, try to focus on what’s happening right now. Bring your attention to the present moment with a relaxed level of focus.
Now, you still want to play hard, be aggressive, and give effort. The reason we want to have a calm mind is so that we are quick in our reactions and movements—but doing so from a calm place.
Here’s an analogy I love:
If you’re on a boat in a stormy ocean, it’s hard to move fast across the water. But if the ocean is calm and still, you can move quickly and smoothly.
Your mind works the same way.
If it’s stormy—racing with thoughts and worries—it’s harder to make quick decisions, stay focused, and react efficiently.
But if your mind is calm and focused on the moment, your reactions are faster, your decisions are sharper, and your movements are more athletic.
How to Train Calmness
To actually build this calm mindset, start training it before games.
You can use mindfulness meditation or breathing exercises to calm your mind—not to make you sluggish, but to quiet racing thoughts before you compete.
Practicing mindfulness or breath work throughout the week builds the skill of calming your mind under pressure.
So, when athletes tell me, “I don’t want to be too relaxed when I play,” I reframe that idea.
We’re not talking about being too relaxed. We’re talking about being calm mentally.
That’s the key takeaway: You don’t want to be too relaxed and slow. But you also don’t want to be tense and stressed.
You want to be calm mentally so you can make quick decisions, move efficiently, and perform at your best.
Loose, relaxed muscles come from a calm mind—and that’s what allows you to be quick, athletic, and confident when you play.
Final Thoughts
As an athlete, your goal isn’t to be too relaxed or too tense—it’s to find that balance where your body feels loose and your mind feels calm. When you’re calm mentally, your body naturally becomes more fluid and athletic. You’re quicker, sharper, and more confident in your movements.
Remember, being relaxed doesn’t mean being passive—it means being smooth and controlled. By training your mind to focus on one thing at a time, using mindfulness or breathing techniques, you’ll learn to quiet racing thoughts and perform freely.
The next time you compete, remind yourself: calm mind, loose body, smooth performance. That’s where your best game lives.
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Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
