There are three self-talk mistakes that you might be making as an athlete that are hurting your performance.
In this article, I’m going to go over what those three are, and then ways that you can work on using self-talk to actually improve your performance—rather than having it be the thing that holds you back.
What is Self-Talk?
Self-talk involves the way that you are talking to yourself. This can be direct or indirect self-talk.
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Direct self-talk means that you’re speaking directly about yourself.
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Example: “I am a great player” or “I don’t know if I can play well against this team today.”
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Indirect self-talk means that you’re talking to yourself about the environment. These are thoughts you have about who you’re facing or about the environment that will still have an impact on yourself and how you’re feeling during that game.
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Example: “That team looks really good” or “We never play well against a team like that.”
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It’s the way our thinking impacts our feelings—and then how that impacts our performance—that is really the reason why we need to pay attention to our self-talk.
Mistake #1: Thinking Too Much (Not Using It Specifically)
Mistake number one is actually thinking too much—not getting specific enough with your self-talk.
When you perform your best, my guess is that you’re not thinking a whole lot. You’re just playing freely. You’re playing naturally. That’s the state that we want to try to get into during games.
That state is kept from happening when we overthink, when we stress, and when we worry.
One of the mistakes I often see athletes make with self-talk is using too much thinking—trying to hype themselves up constantly—so much that they forget we are using self-talk to help keep ourselves present.
We want to:
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Generate an optimal emotional state.
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Feel more confident by telling ourselves things like, “I’ve got this. I believe in myself.”
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Ultimately, get to a point where we can let go of worries and fears and just be present in the moment.
That’s where we play our best.
When we stress so much about what other people think, or try to convince ourselves we can play well, we’re overthinking. Too much self-talk can actually keep us from being present.
The goal: Use self-talk to ward off worry, stress, and fear—so you can simply play.
Instead of thinking constantly, be specific with your self-talk.
I like to see self-talk as our conscious brain guiding our subconscious brain to do what we want.
If I know I have a tendency to stress during a game, especially in specific moments, I want to use self-talk in that exact moment to remind myself: “Let go of those worries. I cannot control them. Reset. Focus on what I can control right now.”
Mistake #2: Forgetting That How You Say It Matters as Much as What You Say
It’s not necessarily about what you say—it’s about how you say it.
We use self-talk to get into optimal emotional states. That could mean:
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Confidence (“I’ve got this. I believe in myself.”)
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Relaxation (“Just calm down.”)
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Motivation
If I want to feel confident, I need to say it in a way that makes me feel confident.
Saying “I believe in myself” in a flat, monotone voice isn’t going to do much. But saying “All right, I believe in myself”with energy before the game will.
Same goes for relaxation. If I’m telling myself “Just calm down” in an intense, stressed tone, it’s not going to work—because the way I’m speaking doesn’t match the state I’m trying to create.
Key takeaway: Your tone and delivery must align with the emotional state you want to generate.
Mistake #3: Becoming Too Robotic
Another mistake is becoming too robotic with your self-talk.
Self-talk can be used as a coaching tool for yourself—giving mental cues. This is great when kept simple. For example, many golfers use a single swing thought before hitting the ball.
The problem comes when you give yourself too many cues: “Arm up. Arm back. Focus. Follow through. Look at my target.”
That eliminates athleticism and makes you stiff and rigid.
Instead:
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Keep cues short (one or two max).
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Use them to help you stay present and play naturally.
How to Use Self-Talk Throughout the Week and in Games
Here’s my philosophy on self-talk:
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During the week & before games → Use self-talk to build belief, confidence, and the emotional state you want going into competition.
Examples: “I’ve got this. I believe in myself. I know I can go out here and play well.” -
During games → Use self-talk to stay present.
Examples: Thought-stopping phrases after mistakes (“Come on, let that go. Let’s refocus.”) or simple cues (“Focus on the ball. Follow through.”).
We don’t want to guide ourselves through every detail in a robotic way—that will make us more stiff and keep us from being athletic.
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After games → Use self-talk to evaluate yourself and maintain confidence for the next competition.
Final Thoughts
Those are the three main mistakes you might be making with self-talk:
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Thinking too much.
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Forgetting that how you say it matters as much as what you say.
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Becoming too robotic.
At the end of the day, you’re an athlete. You need to allow yourself to play freely and naturally.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to leverage your thinking and self-talk to perform better, I offer a 12- week one-on-one coaching program.
I’ve also created two online courses:
And if you’re more of a reader, check out my books:
Thank you for reading and I wish you the best of success in all that you do.
