Have you ever finished a game knowing you held yourself back? Maybe you played tight, hesitated to make a move, or played it safe instead of going all in.
It’s one of the most frustrating feelings as an athlete—because deep down, you know it wasn’t your skills that limited you, it was your mindset.
In this article, I’m going to break down the top three reasons athletes hold themselves back during competition. Understanding these will help you identify what’s keeping you from playing freely and confidently.
1. You’re Afraid to Make Mistakes
Whenever you’re afraid of making mistakes and your focus is on wanting to avoid them, we will see that avoidance lead to you holding yourself back and playing with your foot on the brake.
You’re holding yourself back because your focus is on wanting to avoid mistakes.
Avoidance Mindset
When I’m working one-on-one with athletes in mental coaching, I call this the avoidance mindset.
I always use the example of how, any time in life when we’re scared of something, our brain’s natural reaction is to keep us safe. We want to avoid danger—if you’re in the wild, you’d go around a dangerous situation rather than through it.
Avoidance keeps you safe.
However, in sports, the thing you’re afraid of—making a mistake—is part of the game. Unfortunately, if you allow your brain to respond the same way it does to fear in everyday life, you’ll avoid the very situations where growth and success happen.
When you play scared, you end up holding yourself back. You don’t go for the ball as aggressively, you hesitate at the plate, or you play too cautiously on the tennis court. All because you’re trying to avoid making mistakes.
This is the number one reason I see athletes hold themselves back. You try to avoid mistakes, so you avoid risk—and that leads to hesitation and disappointment after games, knowing deep down that it was you who held yourself back, not your mistakes.
When I was playing baseball, I remember times at shortstop and third base when I was scared to make mistakes. I secretly hoped the ball wouldn’t be hit to me. But because of that, when it was hit to me, I wasn’t ready—and that increased my chances of making the very error I was so afraid of.
When you play to avoid mistakes, you end up creating them.
2. You’re Focused Too Much on Stats
Another reason athletes hold themselves back is focusing too much on stats.
This can take many forms, but a common one I see is when athletes have a great stat line and then start playing cautiously because they don’t want to mess it up.
I’ve been working with a basketball player this season who struggles with this. When she knows her shooting percentage, she feels scared to take shots the next game because she doesn’t want to lower it.
I see this a lot with athletes trying to move up a level—going from high school to college, transferring schools, or trying to play professionally.
You want to be seen as a great player, so you fixate on maintaining perfect stats. This can quickly turn into fear—fear of losing what you already have.
If you’re a softball player with a high batting average, you might start hesitating at the plate because you don’t want to drop it. If you’re a tennis player, you might avoid playing certain opponents because you don’t want to mess up your win percentage.
This fear of losing perfection makes you timid. It stops you from playing freely and aggressively—the very mindset that helped you earn those good stats in the first place.
3. You’re Worrying Too Much About What Other People Think
The third reason athletes hold themselves back is worrying too much about what other people think—your coach, teammates, parents, or friends.
When you’re constantly thinking about how others view you, that worry leads right back into fear. You fear messing up in front of them, disappointing them, or looking bad—and so, you play small.
Now, I have worked with players who channel this pressure differently. Some go out there wanting to prove people wrong or prove how good they are, and that actually helps them perform better. If that’s you—great! Keep doing it.
But for most athletes I work with, trying to impress others turns into playing to avoid embarrassment or mistakes. You become so concerned with not looking bad that you never let yourself play bold.
This is where self-awareness becomes so important. You have to ask yourself: How is this focus actually affecting me?
Is it driving me to perform better, or is it making me more fearful and hesitant?
Overcoming What Holds You Back
Being afraid of making mistakes, focusing too much on stats, and worrying about what other people think—these are the top three reasons athletes hold themselves back.
The first step to overcoming them is understanding which one (or all) of these is holding you back. Then, you can begin to change your focus and your thinking so you can play with more confidence and freedom.
I work with athletes one-on-one to help them overcome these fears and worries, so if you’re interested in learning more about my coaching program, click here to schedule a free introductory call, or fill out the form below.
The bottom line is this: if you want to go from holding yourself back to playing confidently, you have to address what’s causing that hesitation. Is it fear, worrying about others, stats—or all three? Once you know that, you can start making the changes that lead to you playing freely, naturally, and at your best.
